Reading
Fathers and Sons by E. Hemingway, I come face to face again with the ugly beast that lurks behind shadows in my soul. How have I come to be here today? It seems to only get progressively worse and worse. This torment that racks my mind against itself, I fear, will consume me one day. The self-deleterious vision is clear. Sometime, before I knew what course I was set on, I sat in my seat and was tracked in without instructions on how to brake or to maneuver. Is it fair to tell my impending fate? Partly unaware, I have agreed to it, and nothing can possibly change it. It is more really a question of how long it will take and will others be ready for it?
Change.
I’m sure if I searched hard enough, I can find research articles on this subject. Lately, this has been an obsession of mine. Brought on by the quintessential question: “How can I change?” of course, in exploring this question, I came on to a few more. What is change, first of all. After some contemplation, I broke it down into two main categories: the real and perception. There are impetuses that cause change to the real, physical world. Scientific and technological discoveries are mainly in this category. The other deals with ways someone/something has led to a change in perception of the real world. For example, religion oftentimes tries to bring a “higher” meaning to the real world and its circumstances. Art can take colors, on a canvas and convey some feeling, thought, or idea in a new way.
Now, if you look at people and their careers/jobs, just about all jobs relate to one type of change or the other. I am sure there are jobs that accomplish both types of change. What type of change do I want to incur? So, part of the resulting theory of understanding how I can change is to direct that path into what I want to change or transform into. And further, to what level do I want to bring about change?
Breeding
For centuries, man has bred dogs to highlight certain traits and qualities. This includes appearance, stature, personality, and even mental abilities. Though humans have become even more diffuse in the last few centuries, were also part of their own, sometimes sub-conscious, selective breeding. As unpopular as the theory goes, and despite the flaws in the original argument for this, what’s there to disprove that certain groups of people have a higher capacity for intelligence? Studies have shown that DNA can alter its expression over a person’s lifetime, but that doesn’t preclude an individual from being already set with a certain selection of traits controlled by their genes.
Probability
Probability and mathematics are great for understanding many macro-related studies. Just as there is a certain probability that I will get a full-house as my poker hand, there are probabilities of survival, acceptance into a certain school, getting a job, etc. However, at the individual level, how often did the prospect of probability get in the way of one achieving something? Because there’s a 95% chance that a patient diagnosed with stage IV cancer won’t live past 3 months, should that person resolve to live no more than 3 months?
How does religion consider probability? They account for probability to the will of the god(s). Isn’t it convenient that either way of the outcome (either it happened or didn’t happen), the will of the god(s) have been executed?
My odds
Between the largely undeniable authority of the genes that control our life, and the probabilities that we are born into, what real chance do we have at controlling our destiny? What are the probabilities that change can be accomplished? I have come to terms with these Elements to some degree. And I am quite certain that the probability that I will live past 65 are very slim. True, there is an extent of a self-fulfilling prophecy such as that, but why fight it? Hell, it certainly makes looking down the barrel of a colt 45 much easier to swallow.
